I just found out something that rocked my world. Apparently your feet get bigger when you are pregnant and they often never go back to their pre-pregnancy size! Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? No one ever told me this crappy biological factoid. Not my mother. Not my friends. What the hell?
I'm in the process of spring cleaning (you know during those rare interludes between pee breaks, trying not to vomit and frequent naps) and it has highlighted the fact I have a closet FULL of awesomely cute shoes, some of which I've never worn (a thinly veiled hint to my dear husband that we're overdue for a night on the town the very first time I don't feel like I'm dying). I mean, I'm no Manolo Maniac or a Jimmy Chooist (well I am but I don't have the $$'s to actually act on those obsessions) but I have lots of shoes. Cute shoes that are the size I've been for most of my adult life and now I've learned that I may have to give up on them because my traitorous feet are going to swell and never regain their prepregnancy size. Oh. My. Gawd.
"As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and I'll wear every single pair before I turn into a canoe-footed momma. Every single one. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll wear every single pair."