tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84444699754028990622024-03-14T01:31:06.692-07:00 Words WorthWelcome to my 'VerseAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.comBlogger168125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-42032720093907914392013-08-20T11:09:00.002-07:002013-08-20T11:09:32.743-07:00Moving Day<div style="text-align: left;">
For anyone who is </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>looking for new content from me,</li>
<li>a geek, nerd, or dweeb looking for a nerd blog/author;</li>
<li>a book lover looking for reviews; or</li>
<li>my mom </li>
</ol>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
please head on over to my shiny new author's website at </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://leighalcraig.com/">LEIGHALCRAIG.COM</a>.</div>
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-51822435527182634012013-08-09T15:16:00.000-07:002013-08-09T15:37:45.874-07:00A Free eCopy of A World of Possibility? Sign Me the Hell Up!<br />
<header class="entry-header" style="line-height: 24px;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; clear: both; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 200; line-height: 1.8; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 34px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">A </span><span style="color: white; font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">World of Possibility – A Free ebook of Short Stories</span></h1>
<div class="entry-meta" style="border: 0px; clear: both; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 34px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: inherit;">ReBlogged <a href="http://andyszpuk.wordpress.com/2013/08/09/a-world-of-possibility-a-free-ebook-of-short-stories/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" title="9:51 pm"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2013-08-09T21:51:43+00:00">August 9, 2013</time></a><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; display: inline; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> from <span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a class="url fn n" href="http://andyszpuk.wordpress.com/author/andyszpuk/" rel="author" style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" title="View all posts by Andy Szpuk">Andy Szpuk</a></span></span></span></div>
</header><br />
<div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; line-height: 27px; margin: 1.5em 0px 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 34px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<div style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://andyszpuk.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/4327434.jpg" style="border: 0px; color: #21759b; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="4327434" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-6059" height="300" src="http://andyszpuk.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/4327434.jpg?w=200&h=300" style="border-bottom-left-radius: 3px; border-bottom-right-radius: 3px; border-top-left-radius: 3px; border-top-right-radius: 3px; border: 0px; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.2) 0px 1px 4px; display: inline; float: left; height: auto; margin: 1.5em 1.5em 1.5em 0px; max-width: 100%;" width="200" /></a><span style="color: white;">This is a truly wonderful collection of short stories by a group of authors who have forged strong links with each other across the globe, to develop a network of writers who can share their ideas, their work, and their own brand of togetherness. The Authors Social Media Support Group (ASMSG) is a collective who engage with social media to bring their work to the attention of a global audience, and they do it with smiles on their digital faces.</span></span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: inherit;">Yes, this short story collection is <strong style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">COMPLETELY FREE!</strong> So, click to download, and then ‘The Jumper’<strong style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </strong>will leap off the page at you, and then ‘Leaving Sarah’<strong style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </strong>may be a good thing or a bad thing? Wait for ‘The Balance’ to make you wobble, and then point ‘The Gun’ at ‘Mooncussers’<strong style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </strong>for a short story double dose extra thrill. Take a trip to ‘Ghost Inn’, perhaps for a ‘Vacation Interrupted’. And ‘The Painting’ is a story that hangs well.</span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: inherit;">‘One More Back’ suggests an elusive tale, while ‘Lala Salaama’ has a sing song title. ‘Cuffed’ and ‘Underground’ are short stories to blow you away, ‘The Family Tradition’ is here to stay.<strong style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> ‘</strong>Flashback’<strong style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </strong>and ‘The Wayward Parcel’<strong style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </strong>are stories that may like to hold hands and float along together through cyberspace.</span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: inherit;">And what’s inside ‘The Box’?</span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: inherit;">‘The Legacy’ could quite easily <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">be</em> ’The Baby’, who will grow up to savour tales such as ‘Revenge’ and ‘The Sea Turtle’<strong style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">. </strong>Today could be ‘A Date to Die For’, but then so could tomorrow: ‘A Step in Time’<strong style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">.</strong></span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: inherit;">Feel the poetry of ‘A Cottage at Manitou Crossing’<strong style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">, </strong>and blow a reader’s kiss at ‘Little Boy Blue’.</span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: inherit;">‘Ruth’ sounds a plain and simple tale, but that could be deceptive, and for a dose of intrigue we have ‘The Unedited Interview with Brenford Stevens’<strong style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">.</strong></span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: inherit;">It’s a terrific collection and it’s FREE!</span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: inherit;">Check out these links:</span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #3f3f3f; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="http://goo.gl/8Md4w3" style="border: 0px; color: #21759b; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">ASMSG BOOK LINK</span></a></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #3f3f3f; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="http://goo.gl/yrLhnf" style="border: 0px; color: #21759b; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">SMASHWORDS EDITION</span></a></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #3f3f3f; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="http://goo.gl/iOEl5o" style="border: 0px; color: #21759b; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">BARNES AND NOBLE</span></a></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #3f3f3f; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="http://goo.gl/HcI5JB" style="border: 0px; color: #21759b; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">APPLE iBOOKS</span></a></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #3f3f3f; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="http://goo.gl/PaKF0v" style="border: 0px; color: #21759b; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">KOBO eBOOKS</span></a></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #3f3f3f; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="http://goo.gl/J1jE3T" style="border: 0px; color: #21759b; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">SONY READER</span></a></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-89397684997473390692013-08-08T15:38:00.001-07:002013-08-09T09:33:05.500-07:00The Battle for Princess Madeline - Book Review<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">When I picked up the Battle for
Princess Madeline by Kirstin Pulioff I wasn’t sure what to expect. To
me, fairytales are best when they are either sweet little stories to tell
my three year old or tongue-in-cheek NC17 satires. <span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><u>Scenario number 1: The Disney Love
Story</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Prince Whathisface needs a wife. Sweet young SoandSo is the adolescent male's ideal: barely nubile at 16 years old, sweetly stupid, gorgeous, etc. <b>and</b> she just happens to be
single. </span><br />
<i style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></i>
<i style="font-family: inherit;">HORRORS! SHE MUST</i><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><i style="font-family: inherit;">FIND A HUSBAND, PRONTO! </i></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Before we know it, SoandSo meets Whatshisface and they
inexplicably fall in love without mumbling so much as an awkward, “Uh, hi.”
Trouble ensues, SoandSo is separated from good
old Whatshisface, and everything goes sideways until a deus ex machina materializes, solving everything tidily.
This frees Whathisface and SoandSo to begin their own Teen Mom reality
TV franchise, Medieval style. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Butterflies and rainbows abound. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><u>Scenario Number 2: Cinderella Meets the
Sopranos</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Yo! Prince Whatshisface needs a wife, already. He's happily single, a raging alcoholic with a gambling problem and an expensive <i>goomah</i> but then his loan shark tells him he’s
in danger of losing his shiny new Italian carriage and his ability to walk
unless he pays his debts, like yesterday. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>HORRORS! HE MUST FIND A RICH WIFE, PRONTO!</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The D-bag trolls the kingdom looking to marry a rich yet stupid young
virgin who doesn't know he's <i>gavone</i>. Enter young SoandSo. She is new to the kingdom and loaded so she becomes Whatshisface’s target-of-choice. They meet at a rave but Prince Whatshisface comes off
(surprise!) sounding less-than-charming. SoandSo kicks him to the curb in
front of his friends and, in a moment of cocaine-induced psychosis, Whatshisface
decides, “She's not going to get the best of me!” He kidnaps
her, hoping that<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><s>Stockade</s> <s>Stockbroker</s> uh...Stockholm Syndrome will kick in at some point and she’ll agree to marry him before his
loan shark kicks in his kneecaps. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Eventually, Whatshisname decides to force the issue and
marry her: willing or not. He slips her a couple of roofies, manhandles
her in the trunk of his carriage and heads to the local drive-through wedding
chapel. When she wakes up to hear the guy say over the speaker if anyone
has an objection let them speak now or forever hold their peace she lets her
fists do the talking – she knocks out Whatshisname's teeth and escapes. SoandSo
capitalizes on the notoriety and respect she gets from standing up to Whatshisface
to poach manpower from other gangs.
Then, she takes over the kingdom's cartels and is forever known as the
Godmother. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Cannolis and RICO violations abound.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<u><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><br /></b></span></u>
<u><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>The Real Story</b></span></u></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG2soHAvMAMLtwhgwO0JmmckJz4VzSvWyxIdsQk3Up3Rihw5OzzB54NeuH1vI_wnEZCLs-1LB2fHdWsO9EU3RFNMhlz3Mv_rT2l37CxwJnXLyHHs-iOUeddAPZDd0vjyCjc4pYmuacPsZV/s1600/Battle+Madeline.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG2soHAvMAMLtwhgwO0JmmckJz4VzSvWyxIdsQk3Up3Rihw5OzzB54NeuH1vI_wnEZCLs-1LB2fHdWsO9EU3RFNMhlz3Mv_rT2l37CxwJnXLyHHs-iOUeddAPZDd0vjyCjc4pYmuacPsZV/s320/Battle+Madeline.jpg" width="213" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">At first glance, I thought THE BATTLE
FOR PRINCESS MADELINE looked like it would <i>kind of/sort of</i> fit
into the first category. There certainly weren't any roofies, goomahs or cannolis mentioned
in any of the book reviews I read so I thought it was a <i>pretty</i> safe bet that scenario 2 wasn't a go. The thing
was, even though Prince Paulsen needs a wife</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> and Princess Madeline is sweet</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">,
gorgeous,</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> and barely nubile at 16 years old</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">, that's where the resemblance to
scenario 1 ends. In other words, no one in this book busts out into song and there weren't any schmaltzy romantic montages. (Insert fist pump!) </span><fist pump="" style="font-family: inherit;">In case you haven’t already guessed, I was
pretty damn happy when I realized this book wasn't going to cutesy me into
submission. </fist></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">As someone with a daughter, I shudder
to mention it but this book's 16 year old princess is engaged. Initially I was
all like<insert spit="" take="">, “Ohmahgawd. What kind of a, like, example is that for my kid?” I was tempted to go back to my normal Tuesday activities (drinking myself into a
stupor while watching Toddlers and Tiaras) but then my left brain kicked in,
reminding me that this was pastoral fantasy so a 24 year old would probably be considered an unmarriageable </insert>hag while a 16 year old would be prime marriage material. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">That dilemma resolved, I dove into the book. I</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> quickly discovered that I was (for the second time this summer) in the position of being pleasantly surprised by something I was reading.
In particular, I was excited by
the quality of Pulioff's writing, not because I didn't think she would be a
good writer, but because I (mistakenly) assumed mid grade fiction would require
shorter, choppier writing to accommodate the limitations of younger readers. (<i>Whaaat? I talk about booze and Tramped up Toddlers and you don't blink but you get all huffy when I say I thought kids needed simpler writing? Remember, I typically read adult fiction or my daughter's coma-inducing Pinkalicious books, people - I don't exactly have any recent MG experience to draw on</i>.) Instead, this
book has a nice flow and there are more than a few moments in this story where
young readers will be exposed not only to good writing at a comfortable MG level
but good writing at any level. I'm a big believer that the best books have story and flow and this one has both. </span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">One thing that was a bit of a problem
for me was that Madeline is presented as an independent and intelligent
young woman but she occasionally made some very strange decisions that just don’t seem to jibe with those qualities. For example, she assumed that her
enemy’s scum-of-the-earth lackeys would feel bound by the rules and conventions
of the knightly code of chivalry when she offered herself up to them as a hostage/distraction
at a pivotal point in the story. Given
the riff raff Paulsen had in his army, she should have ended
up on a milk carton or a front runner in next year’s Darwin Awards. Luckily for her, in her world there is honour amongst irredeemable psychopaths so she survives - honour unbesmirched - to
(presumably) head up a third instalment in this quality series. In the end, I guess it boils down to this: she's 16 years old. Lucky? Yes. Street smart? Eeeeh...not so much.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Aside from this one minor quibble, I
really enjoyed this book. It is
definitely written with a mid-grade reader in mind but this particular adult enjoyed it as a nice, light read. It is
also one book in a series I guarantee I will be reading with my daughter when the time
comes to introduce her to the mid grade reading level. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm giving this book my enthusiastic recommendation and 4.75 stars out of 5.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjigY32BODA7xQ2udg_UvquaKZB0mq6BkcXq9cuxlFAkR86kv7kEkOF2qr7HWepx8UYDl9Zj4tZmbYN7u-zFtiXmz_Dm7doVkT0VOWOY3i5OkZvVFOkxCnmv39V11DKPODq4PdT-OMKL1Kl/s1600/pulioff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjigY32BODA7xQ2udg_UvquaKZB0mq6BkcXq9cuxlFAkR86kv7kEkOF2qr7HWepx8UYDl9Zj4tZmbYN7u-zFtiXmz_Dm7doVkT0VOWOY3i5OkZvVFOkxCnmv39V11DKPODq4PdT-OMKL1Kl/s200/pulioff.jpg" width="159" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Kirstin and her books can be found on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/KirstinPulioffAuthor" target="_blank">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/kirstinpulioff" target="_blank">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Kirstin-Pulioff/e/B00A2498Z2" target="_blank">Amazon</a> and <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6558842.Kirstin_Pulioff" target="_blank">Goodreads</a>.</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-58537730657791888262013-07-04T12:00:00.000-07:002013-07-07T00:23:25.777-07:00Hers To Command - A Book Review in Two Parts<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
Prologue<i> </i></div>
<br />
<i>I'm a diverse reader: my bookshelves are a hodgepodge of works ranging from literary fiction, biographies, historical fiction, mysteries, thrillers, horror, paranormal, humor, history, romance (mostly Jane Austin), and - of course - tonnes and tonnes of scifi, fantasy and my new love: steampunk. What I don't have on my shelves is erotica. Nope. Not a smidge. I'm not a prude but it just didn't seem to ever cross my path until about a year ago when a friend of mine and I were in our cups. When I confessed I hadn't ever read any she gave me a copy of a certain very popular book another friend of mine had once called "TwiPorn." I blearily thought, "I like vampires," and took the book.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>After I sobered up, I cracked it open and read one random chapter. When I recovered from the shock of there not being a fang in sight, I was horrified by what my friend had recommended I read. At best I could call it the worst example of sophmoronic drivel I had ever read. Cliché-rich and repetitive writing, and an unbelievably ridiculous story premise made me want to use a fruit spoon to scrub the memory of E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Meh from my brain. Sadly, I don't think even that would have worked. What really cracked my brainpan was that I could be so put off by one short mid-book chapter (presumably easier to like because the typical back story info-dump is over) and yet she has made a ridiculous amount of money off her book...I mean books. Yes, sadly there is more than one book in that heinous series.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>Colour me Fifty Shades of WTF!</i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>So after this near miss with a surgical fruit spoon, I gave up on erotica. I figured I had finally met my literary Kryptonite because if that was the best erotica had to offer, I was tapping out. There was simply no way I could read it.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>It turns out I was wrong - very, very wrong.</i> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
And now, on to the part you've all come here for: The Review</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
A couple of weeks back, there was a call for readers to provide honest reviews of a book by Patricia A. Knight, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Hers-To-Command-Verdantia-ebook/dp/B00D5KVIV2" target="_blank">HERS TO COMMAND</a> and I was happy to throw my hat in the ring for the chance to read something new. I will admit, before I began to read I was nervous but cautiously optimistic. I follow Patricia Knight on Twitter and, despite the 140 character per Tweet limit, she's obviously someone who knows her way around the English language so I thought it unlikely that her book was going to force me to make a run for the flatware. On the other hand, her book bridged one of my favourite genres with one I had recently decided I hated with the flaming passion of a thousand suns (see above). Happily, after reading less than a chapter I was already thoroughly enjoying this steamy scifi and my initial reservations were long forgotten.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I don't want to ruin the fun of discovery for those who haven't yet read this book but I'll give a brief general overview: when the book begins there are three people living on the embattled planet Verdantia who don't yet know it but who are destined to be together for love, for lust and to save their entire (semi-sentient) world. Hers to Command is about Fleur, Ari, and Doral - three complex and strong yet realistically flawed heroes with complicated pasts who weren't immune to anxiety or self-doubt as they tried to build a strong polyamorous relationship while knowing the survival of their people and their living planet depended on their ability to do so. No pressure there, right?<br />
<br />
I thought the planet Verdantia and its people were well developed and the creative story premise gave clear reasons behind the early sex between near strangers so it didn't feel gratuitous or contrived. The author also managed to skilfully balance the various story elements while still presenting a very sexy scifi so there was never a cheesy boomchickawrowwrow vibe or a point where the reader would be left wondering what happened to the story's spice. I also really liked that as the story progressed, the relationships between the characters deepened and their sexual encounters reflected that change, adding a whole new layer to the experience for them and for me as the reader.<br />
<br />
All in all, this was a white hot supernova of an erotic scifi. The story was a good one and Patricia Knight's writing didn't disappoint. Would I recommend this book to everyone? Well let's just say I'm not giving it my granny for Christmas this year (her loss) but if you're up for a scifi with a smart and sexy MFM twist, this is definitely for you. I think it also says a lot that this book made me reconsider a pretty
strong bias against a whole genre (quite a feat!). <br />
<br />
HERS TO COMMAND gets an enthusiastic 5 stars out of 5 from me. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-77147038251021456352013-07-04T07:30:00.000-07:002013-07-07T00:31:15.306-07:00Cinnamon Toast and an Author Interview<div class="P14" style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKFJZxVSy-joMmo4zWX5QT8JDmHh2_m7Wm7CWIjDXPWz5EkPnhDgr0zkXIpcb1jHEBL7wW84EFNDHNJ2XyLTmt0Wo_BQRcPG81Pj8L0zhYohvIuXLSLmdWqYzZlFFjrRs7fmaZAEGIajQi/s300/Janet-E.-Cameron-pic-200x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKFJZxVSy-joMmo4zWX5QT8JDmHh2_m7Wm7CWIjDXPWz5EkPnhDgr0zkXIpcb1jHEBL7wW84EFNDHNJ2XyLTmt0Wo_BQRcPG81Pj8L0zhYohvIuXLSLmdWqYzZlFFjrRs7fmaZAEGIajQi/s320/Janet-E.-Cameron-pic-200x300.jpg" width="212" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
Shiny Gold Boots! Oversized
Sushi! Cheap Beer!<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="P14" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P14" style="text-align: justify;">
Take equal parts metallic leather, raw fish
and beer, throw in a pair of cute actors and some free tequila and you've got the time honoured recipe for the Author's Interview.
Here's is my post-sushi, beer and actors chat with Canadian ex-pat
novelist Janet E. Cameron about life, her debut novel <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17335097-cinnamon-toast-and-the-end-of-the-world" target="_blank"><b>Cinnamon Toast and the End of the World</b></a>, the creative process, and the writer's holy grail: publication.</div>
<div class="P2" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB"><br /></span></i>
<i><span lang="EN-GB"><br /></span></i>
<i><span lang="EN-GB"><br /></span></i><br />
<i><span lang="EN-GB"><br /></span></i>
<i><span lang="EN-GB">If you had
to describe your book in a couple of sentences, how would you do it?</span></i></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">It's 1987, and in the small, rural town of <st1:city w:st="on">Riverside</st1:city>, <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Nova
Scotia</st1:place></st1:state>, 17-year-old Stephen Shulevitz finds himself
in major trouble when he falls in love with exactly the wrong person. It's
funny, it's sad, and we've all been there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">That's the elevator pitch. I wish I had something
less prepackaged for you, but now when someone says, 'Describe the book in a
few sentences,' that's the one that comes spewing out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">In a number
of interviews you've said that your book Cinnamon Toast and the End of the
World began as a short story you wrote about two boys who fought on the edge of
a river, fell in during the scuffle and drowned. When you began the
process of morphing that short story into your book, did you map out the
entire plot or did you discover the story as you went along?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">The book started as a very short story told from
the point of view of the character who became Mark. When I switched to Stephen
as the main character I started writing like mad – he was very inspiring – and came up with enough for a very long short
story or a novella, with the scene by the river as the high point I was working
towards. Then a virus erased it from my computer. But when I started working on
it again four years later, I remembered how the plot of the old, erased story
went and the memory became a sort of outline for me. Some of the book I
discovered as I went along. The chapter where Stephen first meets Lana came to
me as I was cycling home after work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">In his book,
<u>On Writing</u>, Stephen King talked about excavating stories, as though every story
already exists out there just waiting to be uncovered by someone lucky enough
to find it and skillful enough to extract it. How would you describe your
creative process?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">I don't actually understand the creative process
at all, or how to control it. (This makes me very superstitious.) I just know I
was fixated on Stephen and he seemed to bring a rush of ideas with him. I found
myself thinking, 'Wow, he's really funny,' as if it wasn't me who was writing.
I don't have a mental image of excavating anything, just being open to ideas. I
still have a little joke notepad which says, 'I do whatever the little voices
tell me to do,' which I think is a good motto for writing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">Everyone out
there who has read your book probably feels as though they know your characters
pretty well by now. I imagine you feel the same way to a far greater
degree because they are, in many ways, your children. Did you picture them in
your head as your wrote? If I sat you down with a police sketch artist,
would you be able to help them draw each of your main characters? <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9pMu7C9XIggw2KAQsXtJhF0mKS-JesQ4GVYmL0ibK15lGWoPSikALpjye9Mrs_JrfuLz49eHorHYbl1PkfCzjZ_isn3GEZKLhTUhYB_vVeDTY2rJ7gA77BgEWiCSWXCPs1pSoM5-6rW42/s272/images+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9pMu7C9XIggw2KAQsXtJhF0mKS-JesQ4GVYmL0ibK15lGWoPSikALpjye9Mrs_JrfuLz49eHorHYbl1PkfCzjZ_isn3GEZKLhTUhYB_vVeDTY2rJ7gA77BgEWiCSWXCPs1pSoM5-6rW42/s200/images+(1).jpg" width="136" /></a><span lang="EN-GB">I have a lousy visual imagination, which is one
reason I ripped off my hometown for the setting, but over time I did get very
clear mental pictures of these people. Stephen actually shifted around visually
for a while because he's so important and because the ‘camera’ is in his head.
I kept a print of a self-portrait of an artist called Egon Schiele close to my
desk because Stephen often gets a very similar look on his face, though he
doesn't resemble Schiele in any other way except maybe his build.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">Do you think
that visualization helped your writing? <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">I 'saw' most of the book happening in my head like
a movie, but the details were a bit blurry at times. Several of the scenes were
written as dialogue, and then I had to force myself to consider what it all
looked like, exactly – physical actions, details in the background, that kind
of thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">If your book
is made into a movie (and it really should be) who do you imagine playing
Stephen? (the actor could be anyone, living or dead!)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">Aw, thanks. And I have no idea. Really. He's so
much himself to me that I couldn't imagine an actor pretending to be him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">Mark?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">I don't really know many young actors, and the
visual of Mark in my head is too strong for me to imagine anyone playing him.
Sorry!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">Stanley and
Maryna?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">That I can answer. Maryna might be played by
either Laura Linney or Drew Barrymore. Drew could do the scatterbrained
ex-hippy thing and Laura could handle the uptight single mother aspects of
Maryna. For Stanley, no contest. Adrien Brody. </span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">Lana?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">Um, a much younger, more vulnerable </span><span lang="EN-GB">Janeane </span><span lang="EN-GB">Garofalo? But, again, I really can't
think of anyone but Lana in this role.</span><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN-GB"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P13" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">Years ago,
I read a January Magazine interview with Neil Gaiman where he said,
"Writers may be solitary but they also tend to flock together: they like
being solitary together." <span class="T2">What do you think of that?
<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="T2"><span lang="EN-GB">Well, since I started writing
seriously I find I'll spend most of my time alone and I'll see friends in
small, intense doses. And, yes, a lot these friends are writers and we spend
most of our time moaning and complaining together. Is that what Neil means? I'm
not sure. </span></span><span lang="EN-GB"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">Would you
say you a solitary person by nature? </span></i><span lang="EN-GB"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">I spend a lot of time alone, but I do get pretty
lonely and desperate for a reaction to whatever I'm working on. On the other
hand, I don't have time for that much socializing if I'm going to get anything
done, and when I do socialize, I often end up putting pressure on myself to
have the best time possible to make up for missing work. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">Would you
call a room full of writers a flock or something else?</span></i><span lang="EN-GB"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">Tee-hee. Pass. I'm sure you could come up with
something better yourself.</span><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN-GB"><i>I'm pretty sure a grouping of writers would be called a neurosis. (insert Spockian eyebrow lift here)<insert eyebrow="" self-deprecating="" waggle=""></insert></i></span><br />
<i><span lang="EN-GB">So are most of
your friends these days writers?</span></i></div>
<div class="P3" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">A lot of them are, and it's a relief to talk to
people who 'get it'.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">Hmm…do you
think that's good or bad?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">It's good to have people who understand where
you're coming from, but I have to be careful not to live in a writing bubble. A
lot of people don’t care about fiction and that can be sobering to remember.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P4" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">Inevitably,
any writer who's been published is asked, "How did you do it?" I know
how you navigated that road but for those who don't, "How did you do
it?"<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P4" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">I won a contest! Well, first I spent almost two
years writing and editing the book. Then I sent three chapters off to the Irish
Writers' Centre's Novel Fair contest. If you win, you get to spend the day with
agents and publishers from all over <st1:country-region w:st="on">Ireland</st1:country-region>,
and some from the <st1:country-region w:st="on">UK</st1:country-region>, and
that’s how I found my publisher, Hachette <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Ireland</st1:place></st1:country-region>. Hachette are international,
and they were very enthusiastic about making inroads into <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Canada</st1:place></st1:country-region>. I was
extremely lucky. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P5" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">How did social
media play into your publishing journey?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P5" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">Social media &$%ed me over big time in the
beginning. Early on I had a major Canadian publisher interested in the book,
but they didn't bite because they said I had no online presence. Later I got a
website and started up on Twitter (this would be after I got the offer from
Hachette), and the gang at Hachette <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Canada</st1:place></st1:country-region> liked this and have tried to
work with me online to promote Cinnamon Toast. We had a ‘name that 80s tune’
contest a few days before the book’s Canadian release. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">That was one of the more fun uses of social media for book promotion that I've ever seen. Certainly beat the hell out of the monotonous chorus of 'buy my book's' I'm subjected to in every time I sign onto the Twitter. Social media
has changed things significantly for writers, hasn't it? Do you think it’s f<span class="T2">or better or for worse?<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P13" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">Hard to say. I feel less isolated, which is
great. But I do find it takes up a lot of my time and screws with my attention
span. And I feel incredibly cheesy whenever I tweet the same self-promoting
links over and over. But I'll still do it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">Do you think
it will continue to be a major consideration for publishers going forward or not?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">This, again, is very hard to say. At times the
whole thing feels a bit silly. And it's interesting to note that the more
successful an author is, the less time she/he will spend on social media. It
might turn out to be a fad, but then I thought that about compact disks back in
the day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">How do you
feel about social media and your writing?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">I'm not sure how it’ll affect my writing, because
I only got into social media after most of the work on Cinnamon Toast was done.
I'm concerned that it’s turning me into someone who is (even more) desperate to
be ‘liked’. I might have to write something soon which is not terribly likeable
and I'm not sure if I’ll be able to do it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P6" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P6" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">You're aware
that your book is being labelled by booksellers as gay literature, and more
specifically as a "coming out" book. I've heard a lot of rumbling
lately online from writers indicating that they are unhappy with booksellers'
love of labels and their general discomfort with choosing a single set of
labels for works that may span a number of genres. Do you worry that as a
result of this book's labels you may be pigeon-holed?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P6" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">I hate labels and genres in general, but I can see
why publishers and booksellers go for them. There is such a volume of books out
there. People shopping want to make a quick decision and narrow down the
choices. I'm actually more worried about being labelled as YA than gay. I've
even been called a 'children's writer' – based on the title and cover of the
book, not the contents. I don't think I'll be hit with a 'gay' label because
I'm not gay myself. I think most people see it as a one-off thing. And classifying
the book as ‘gay’ might actually be helpful in allowing it to reach an LGBT
audience, as there's nothing in the summary or on the back cover that tells you
that there are LGBT themes in the novel. I am concerned that because of the
‘gay’ label, straight people will decide they're not interested – not because
they're homophobic, but because they might assume they're not the intended
audience and switch off, again, because of the volume of work that’s out there
and the need to narrow their choices. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P7" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P7" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">What's the
craziest thing a person has said to you about your book?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P7" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">Nothing too crazy yet, but I remember at my
reading in <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Toronto</st1:city></st1:place>
there was a guy in the audience who seemed personally offended by the fact that
none of the characters had AIDS. He hadn't read it either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P8" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">What's the
strangest situation you've been in as a result of writing this book?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P8" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">I gave a reading for charity with another author,
and ended up swearing in front of a room packed with children. I didn't realise
there'd be so many kids there and had chosen Stephen's confrontation with <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Stanley</st1:place></st1:city>, which has a few
swears. I heard people gasping. But I was too nervous to mess with the text and
change it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P9" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">What was the
hardest thing about writing this book?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P9" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">Letting go of it. Every time I finished a draft
I'd get this crushing depression afterwards. I still miss the characters like
crazy.</span><br />
<br />
<i><span lang="EN-GB">You're
currently writing your second novel. Is it easier the second time around?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P10" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">No! Now there's more pressure to make it better
than the last one, or at least as good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P11" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span lang="EN-GB">If you had
to describe your second novel in a couple of sentences or less, what would you
say?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="P11" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">It's a big mess right now. The story is based on a
play I wrote in 1996 and is about a teenage suicide and how it affects the
family left behind. (Wonder where I got the idea...)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P1" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P12" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="T2"><i><span lang="EN-GB">Sounds like it's got the potential to be another great book already. Now onto another very
serious question: what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<div class="P12" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="P13" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">African or European?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="P13" style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
<i>Err...</i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="P13" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">***</span><br />
<br />
Janet E. Cameron's <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17335097-cinnamon-toast-and-the-end-of-the-world" target="_blank">Cinnamon Toast and the End of the World</a> is currently available for sale in stores and online. You you can follow her on Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/ASimpleJan" target="_blank">@ASimpleJan</a> or drop by her <a href="http://www.asimplejan.com/" target="_blank">website</a>: asimplejan.com</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-65704091969760211252013-04-08T15:48:00.000-07:002013-05-02T21:48:21.152-07:00The Word of the Nerd<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijSzqKHL6RlVXm_lsRSCKUP_CLtTJxbqvv-G_XpfA2PGDZgbyWC0guv7M2RRPLNglsAMvrANJIk4IwmjAfeex_tnuyzq3XS3xhCxBgq1PbH_yJxAoYPy1b-iBXzdSIbFQAm53CNaMtkOXL/s1600/Nerdom_IJW_011212_1308_1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijSzqKHL6RlVXm_lsRSCKUP_CLtTJxbqvv-G_XpfA2PGDZgbyWC0guv7M2RRPLNglsAMvrANJIk4IwmjAfeex_tnuyzq3XS3xhCxBgq1PbH_yJxAoYPy1b-iBXzdSIbFQAm53CNaMtkOXL/s320/Nerdom_IJW_011212_1308_1.png" width="320" /></a><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
I often refer to myself as a Geek but according to this handy dandy visual aid, Nerd is probably the more accurate term. I'm an intelligent woman with any number of specialized interests who isn't a tekkie but who can navigate her way around a computer, loooooves shiny new gadgets and is addicted to video games. </div>
<br />
In other words, I am a Nerd who lives on the border of Geekdom: I'm a Nerk.<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Back in the day, I wasn't so happy about that. I spent almost my entire school career trying to hide from bullies so when I moved to a new city at the end of grade 10, I saw it as an opportunity:<br />
<br />
new city + new school = shiny new me.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I buried my love of all things Scifi and Fantasy in a shallow grave, gave away my comic book collection, left my books in storage, quit drama and band, pretended to be scholastically challenged and immersed myself in "teen social life" i.e. clothes, boys, and parties. I hung out with the cheerleaders and athletes and, I cringe to admit it now, I actually chose to become the human equivalent of cotton candy: bright, pretty and absolutely substanceless.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Initially it was great. I was accepted. I was popular. I was...borrrrred?<br />
<br />
Although I had everyone fooled, my personality/popularity reno quickly went off the rails, leaving me <em>almost</em> as miserable as being bullied had. Eventually I couldn't hack it any more. I unpacked my books. I began writing again and I stopped hiding my marks. Then, I sealed my social fate and began spending my time doing what I wanted with people who shared my real interests. Needless to say, it wasn't long before I was asked to turn in my pom poms. Whatever. In the end I found some new better friends who maybe didn't share <em>all</em> of my interests but who were OK with who and what I was: a nerdistic wunderkind.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
***Fast forward a few years...ok, ok...a LOT of years***<br />
<br />
Now, I wear my Nerkiness proudly - it is a badge of honour. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<ol>
<li>I make Joss Whedon, LOTR, Red Dwarf and Star Trek references all the time. </li>
<li>I can list all of the Dr. Who's and their respective companions in my sleep although I'm most likely to do so when bribed with a few drinks. </li>
<li>I can identify any Star Trek episode from any series (Star Trek, Star Trek NextGen, DS9, Voyager, and Enterprise) no later than 10 seconds into a random clip provided it isn't the intro or credits. (I highly recommend cultivating this skill because it's a great Nerk party trick.) </li>
<li>My calendar is filled with reminders to PVR new Scifi and Fantasy shows and my social calendar is usually pretty limited on Sundays because of that's Game of Thrones/True Blood/The Walking Dead/Lost Girl/Dr. Who night.</li>
<li>If it has vampires, werewolves, elves or zombies in it, I'm reading or watching it - guaranteed. If it involves time and/or space travel? Ditto. </li>
<li>Steampunk is my new catnip. I lurrrrve me some Steampunk.</li>
<li>I have always, always, always got at least 2 Scifi or Fantasy books on the go and I'm now writing my own. </li>
<li>I don't fantasize about asking Brad Pitt, Charles Dickens or Abraham Lincoln to pass the salt because my fantasy "who would you invite to dinner" list is populated with Scifi/Fantasy writers and people you would find mobbed by geeks at a Comic-Con convention. </li>
</ol>
I know who and what I am and I'm comfortable in my own skin. Hell, I love being a Nerk and I think everyone should aspire to embrace their inner nerd, dork, dweeb or geek because it really is extremely liberating.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhET7KfsAUgCEGbNKF-29KEdPRSeGmalnbH1O-8pVYiWSG2vfBYZjSSNjJKZ7FTK-lLZMoSYgvJUZlfJMahIFYaVVBuuRHR2fHjyw7kfDEny5rWyLWNcPLcIluh0oe7wY6l6AkHTg9LWhNp/s1600/PeggsGeekManifesto.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhET7KfsAUgCEGbNKF-29KEdPRSeGmalnbH1O-8pVYiWSG2vfBYZjSSNjJKZ7FTK-lLZMoSYgvJUZlfJMahIFYaVVBuuRHR2fHjyw7kfDEny5rWyLWNcPLcIluh0oe7wY6l6AkHTg9LWhNp/s320/PeggsGeekManifesto.jpg" width="285" /></a></div>
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<br />
And that, my friends, is the word of the Nerd.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-84365885929948952013-03-23T10:53:00.000-07:002013-04-09T10:06:34.680-07:00Zombies and Why I Love Them<div style="text-align: justify;">
Anyone who knows me knows it was only a matter of time until I blogged about zombies. <br />
<br />
I am, after all, obsessed with The Walking Dead. Ob. Sessed. </div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
When I'm bored these days I often end up mentally planning my response to a zombie infestation. I'll be on the train and my mind will start wandering until suddenly I'm locating possible weapons, the most defensible location, an avenue of escape and the best way back to Banjoville so I can save my kid. When I'm cleaning my house I'm not thinking about what I'm doing. Pfft. No way. When I'm at the grocery store, I'm not really reading that food label. Noooohohohoho. I'm figuring out:</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<ol>
<li>how to fortify my house or whether I should relocate after Zombipocalypse; </li>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
how to keep my fortified sanctuary warm in the winter without ringing the dinner bell for the friendly neighbourhood dead-heads; </div>
</li>
<li>how much food I would have to stockpile; </li>
<li>who I would save;</li>
<li>where to go to get some useful weapons; etc.</li>
</ol>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
I know, I know, that sounds like I'm taking the fast train to crazy town but it fills the time while I commute or drive or, you know...whatever. </div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I just realized today that all my zombie-prepping plans are fundamentally flawed - I've only ever accounted for slow zombies. In case you've been living in a pop-culture cave for the last 30 or so years, there are two kinds of zombies: slow ones (a la George Romero's Living Dead movies or the Walking Dead) and fast ones (a la 28 Days Later and 2004's Dawn of the Dead remake). <br />
<br />
Slow zombies are scary because they're tireless - oh and they're dead, they're ugly and they want to eat you for breakfast - but fast ones? Let's just say I'll take a persistent shambling corpse exhibiting a slow <a href="http://cognitiveaxon.blogspot.ca/2011/10/symptom-2-lumbering-walk.html" target="_blank">Cerebellar Ataxia Gait</a> over a crazy flesh eating Usain Bolt any day.</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhACSOyWvktozUXQJ_d7pTUd7K49ytVeT0b8tPP59nF1SNKr7UxPSmTfO3QH6mPXlPvA4LP_AUcvAQLag3Dpod_kyM-OwlWxhsMwYONdkU3QumBf2QQSO2tQ2l4-0PfvQF-MvOKA-Y82nMa/s1600/zombie-finish-line-1000x570.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhACSOyWvktozUXQJ_d7pTUd7K49ytVeT0b8tPP59nF1SNKr7UxPSmTfO3QH6mPXlPvA4LP_AUcvAQLag3Dpod_kyM-OwlWxhsMwYONdkU3QumBf2QQSO2tQ2l4-0PfvQF-MvOKA-Y82nMa/s200/zombie-finish-line-1000x570.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
I haven't always been interested in zombies but over the years I've become fascinated with them. I began by wondering whether these are just titillatingly horrifying tales or if there's some social commentary in there somewhere. Surprisingly enough, there quite often is - a message I mean. Peter Dendle, an associate professor teaching in the US wrote a book called <em>The Zombie Movie Encyclopedia. </em>He said, "Zombie movies tap into our apocalyptic fears and anxieties very effectively. They de-romanticize the connections between human beings and reduce humanity to its lowest common denominator, focusing on power relations in their most brutal human form. It's 'I will exert my will over you.' It's very Nietzscheian." <br />
<br />
*cough* I'm sorry Peter, but I think half of my readers had an aneurysm when you said the word zombies in the same breath as Nietzsche.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Why do I love zombies and zombie stories? Well, because despite the fact that they are monster tales they tell a very human story every single time. The Zombipocalypse's backdrop of brother eating brother provides an especially bleak backdrop against which to examine how people live, learn, cope, fight, love, die, and maybe even evolve when everything has gone to hell. Depending on how the story is told, the audience may end up rooting for humanity's survival or despairing at our failings, sometimes at the top of our lungs.</div>
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</div>
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My favourite zombie stories:</div>
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</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
1. The Walking Dead: As I said, I love this show but it is not for the faint of heart. In one recent episode three of the main characters drive by a hiker who then spends the entire episode trying to catch up - coming close but never quite making it. Later, they drive back to their home base and pass through a pretty gory scene showing the hiker has been attacked by zombies and killed. They don't even blink! Instead they stop, back up and casually open the door to pick up his pack just in case he was carrying anything useful before heading home. Eep!<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
2. Warm Bodies: This book was a great, light read. I could go on and on but I don't want to spoil it for any of you who haven't read it yet...so go and read it already.<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
3. 28 Days Later: OMGOMGOMG! This was the first "fast zombie" movie I ever saw although I'm not sure the monsters in this movie really qualify as zombies. 28 Days Later was scary as hell. I covered my eyes constantly and I loved every minute of it. Let's just say I took up running soon after watching it.<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
4. Zombieland: This movie was a really funny Zombipocalypse story. I still mourn the demise of the Twinkie, not because I ever liked them but because of the role they played in this story.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
5. World War Z: I think I read through this entire book without stopping to sleep. I liked the format because it is a bit unusual: it's a collection of eye-witness accounts talking about the rise of the zombies and the battles fought by the living to survive and I thought Max Brooks did a good job using different voices in his writing while telling a cohesive story. I am a bit worried about the movie that's coming out later this year but the book is well worth reading.<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
6. Dawn of the Dead (2004): It was one of the few times in my life I've thought a remake got it right <strong>and</strong> improved on the original.<br />
<br />
Despite my love of zombies, I don't write about them...or at least I haven't yet. Stay tuned.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-59716386163365263872013-03-21T11:10:00.000-07:002013-05-02T21:49:22.724-07:00New Author Blogs to Challenge the Guardian's Literary Snobbery<div style="text-align: justify;">
There's an article making the rounds online: "Top Novelists Look to E-Books to Challenge the Rules of Fiction," by Vanessa Thorpe, an arts and media correspondent for the UK Guardian. Ms. Thorpe's article is about author and innovator Iain Pears' development of a new and enhanced eBook format that he expects will take the platform to a whole new level. She also spoke to authors Blake Morrison and Will Self to get their opinion about its potential to transform the typically staid genre of literary fiction.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
On the surface, this article is a pretty bland piece about a group of authors discussing one possible way to capitalize on the rise of the eReader but its subtext is horribly snobbish. Ms. Thorpe clearly broadcasts that as a genre, fantasy shouldn't be taken seriously and its authors are inferior to those who specialize in other forms of fiction but in such a way that she isn't actually taking ownership of it.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>"Online fiction is a
remote world, peopled by elves, dragons and whey-faced vampires. At least that
is the view shared by millions of devoted readers of the printed novel. But now
serious British literary talent is aiming to colonize territory occupied until
now by fantasy authors and amateur fan-fiction writers."</i></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Despite her weak attempt to deflect any criticism by attributing this view to "millions of devoted readers of the printed novel," the article's messaging makes it clear that Thorpe shares or wants to appear to share that negative opinion about fantasy. She characterizes Pears, Morrison and Self as "acclaimed authors" and "serious...literary talents" while dismissing fantasy as a garbage genre analogous to amateur fan fiction or fanfic - a subgenre many see as being populated by poorly written works created by would-be writers incapable of dredging up an original idea. Let me be clear: I am not one of those people who thinks fanfic is bad. I think there are any number of fanfic writers out there who are amazingly talented and it's a way for people to work on their craft while paying tribute to authors and characters who have inspired them. Yes, I get that their work creates copyright concerns but let's just leave that to another blog, shall we? Of course, on the other side of the coin are the fanfic writers out there who are...hmm how shall I say it...ah yes, they're 50 Shades of Barftastic. Clearly, I don't want to be compared to them, but the rest of fanficdom? Sure! The more the merrier.</div>
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</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
On to my major objection to this article: the reporter's unjustifiably biased messaging against fantasy. It is perfectly fine for Vanessa Thorpe to prefer or want to appear to prefer other genres but that doesn't justify the snobbishly prejudicial tone of her article's reference to fantasy and fantasy authors. Whether she knows it or not, fantasy can be just as serious and seriously well-written as books from any other genre, even "serious literary fiction" and I've got the bookcases full of quality work to prove it. Just off the top of my head, I can list five of my favourite authors' works that fit the bill (in no particular order):<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
1. J.R.R. <i>Tolkien's Lord of the </i>Rings trilogy;</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
2. Michelle <i>West's The Sun Sword </i>series;</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
3. Tad Williams' <i>Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn</i> series;</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
4. George R.R. Martin's <i>A Song of Ice and Fire</i> series; and </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
5. Guy Gavriel Kay's <i>The Fionavar Tapestry</i> series.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
What's frustrating is that there are too many others I would love to mention but it isn't practical to list them all in one little blog entry.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
I know readers won't care if Ms. Thorpe's "serious literary talents" (i.e. not fantasy authors) are online and interactive. They will choose what to read based on who and what they like and bells and whistles added to an eBook aren't going to change that. If readers like historic fiction, then Iain Pears may end up on their eReader. If they like satire, then maybe they'll read Will Self. And if biographies, thrillers and other fiction are their cup of tea then they might spring for a Blake Morrison offering. Fine. I have no problem at all with that and I have to admit, these three are pretty impressive so I might give them a whirl too. However, that doesn't change the fact that if readers enjoy well-written fantasy they aren't going to pick up a Pears, Self, or Morrison; they're going to look to authors like the ones I've listed above or maybe - when I finish my book - to me. Here's hoping. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
I guess what it all boils down to is that I think Vanessa Thorpe should examine why she feels the way she does about fantasy or why she thinks she <i>should</i> feel that way because it isn't based on an informed and unbiased assessment of the genre's offerings. She and anyone else who thinks fantasy is garbage should read one (or better yet, all) of the authors I mentioned above before dismissing it because there is plenty of quality fantasy out there, both serious and lighter fare, that is well worth the read.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-71859405579450976482013-03-11T16:17:00.000-07:002013-03-23T09:21:59.256-07:00The Creative Stress - I Mean Process<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em>"There should be a Writer's Pie. It would consist mostly of red wine and pencil sharpenings, seasoned by tears." - @MaireTRobinson</em><br />
<br />
My friend Janet recently gave an interview where she talked about why she wrote her first book, <a href="http://www.asimplejan.com/index.php/cinnamon-toast-and-the-end-of-the-world" target="_blank">Cinnamon Toast and the End of the World</a>. Apparently, her book's two main characters first appeared in a short story she wrote years ago but her brain's casting agent forgot to send them their pink slips and they kept popping up year after year in other projects. Eventually, she recognized the pattern, bowed to the inevitable and wrote a book just for them. I like to imagine Janet shoving her very awesome book at Stephen while shouting, "Here, here you go. Now fuck off!" I know that's not how she feels but it makes me laugh.<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In the abstract that creative process sounds kind of romantic. People who've never tried writing a book might think of a writer like Janet as a creative medium - peacefully communing with the spirits of her characters while sitting in front of a computer effortlessly transcribing their stories. Urg. I can just imagine Janet's epic spit-take, fueled - no doubt - by a fine Irish beer or Strongbow Cider. Janet, like every other writer worth their salt, didn't create a book like hers without sweating blood and shedding tears over it. Yes, Stephen and Mark were strong and persistent characters but it was her talent with words that shaped the lines of their lives, that painted their settings and shaded their personalities. Without her, they would still be literary ghosts so discounting the work Janet put into her creative process by making it sound easy does her, her book and her characters a great disservice. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
That being said, I would still choose her creative process over mine. In fact, I'd go ever farther and wish my protagonist had (metaphorically, of course) walked up to me on the train one morning, plunked herself down beside me and told me to get off my ass and write her a book already. Oh, if only...<br />
<br />
Nope. My process, at least thus far, is more like F. Scott Fitzgerald's. To prepare for a story Fitzgerald organized tonnes of notes into categories like “Feelings and emotions,”
“Conversations and things overheard” and “Descriptions.” My phone, my office and my house are all hopelessly littered with random notes, lists and pictures I've taken of and about things and moments that have inspired me: descriptions, feelings, experiences, sights, sounds, smells, and songs. I can't tell you how many times I've disrupted foot traffic by suddenly stopping to type something into my phone's notepad or to dig in my bag for pen and paper. Like Fitzgerald, I have to do it in the moment because my words are never quite right when I'm forced to wait to scribble it down. I know that admitting I stop dead to type into my phone makes it sound like I'm one of those people who can't chew gum and walk at the same time but I learned early the stopping part is necessary or Head will inevitably meet Pole. </div>
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</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Yes, I'm THAT person. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My book's character started her life more like a ninja-esque shadow. I knew something was rattling around in my head but I could only see a hint of it out of the corner of my imagination's eye. It was only after all those notes, pictures, dreams, people, songs, sounds, and experiences fermented in me for quite a while that I was finally able to see my character and her story. It was a hard slog but I felt like a million dollars when I was finally ready to start writing. <br />
<br />
Of course, when I finally sat down in front of my computer and stared at the blinking cursor I realized it was time to face the Hemingway challenge: "<i>All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know."</i></div>
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<a href="http://s1301.beta.photobucket.com/user/Lomer25/media/42_zps7dc9f7b3.gif.html" target="_blank"><img alt="My Creative Process photo 42_zps7dc9f7b3.gif" border="0" src="http://i1301.photobucket.com/albums/ag108/Lomer25/42_zps7dc9f7b3.gif" /></a><br />
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<br />
Crap crap crapcrapcraaaaaaaap!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-57254229971920005302013-02-12T15:23:00.002-08:002013-02-28T10:32:31.226-08:00Bully for You<div style="text-align: justify;">
So here is where I finally talk about my latest "artistic hiatus." (That's my gentle and somewhat self-serving euphemism for writer's block.)</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In the fall, I had finally begun to feel like I could work around the residual effects of my concussion syndrome. I was blogging again and had made progress developing a story idea with some serious potential when the news of a complete stranger's death came and kicked my inspiration out from underneath me.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP-CHXhokPFk1kmvdFRlk-N01Xi46TnvUX4AF0D-wIx0QsrHWsDJSYr2kJQsyvyLpkO7yZA27duXiICcuyt5Zt4ZUh4bSU7RA4xTNyO-_wbzjhPsnNzTkUNx0sXvRalf64eYOBA02mAMXd/s1600/Amanda_Todd_-_01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP-CHXhokPFk1kmvdFRlk-N01Xi46TnvUX4AF0D-wIx0QsrHWsDJSYr2kJQsyvyLpkO7yZA27duXiICcuyt5Zt4ZUh4bSU7RA4xTNyO-_wbzjhPsnNzTkUNx0sXvRalf64eYOBA02mAMXd/s1600/Amanda_Todd_-_01.jpg" /></a>In October, I saw a news story about a young local girl named <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Amanda_Todd" target="_blank">Amanda Todd</a>. Her picture was of a pretty, sweet looking young teen who looked like she could have grabbed the world by the tail but the story behind it was one of victimization, bullying, loneliness, desperation, and eventually suicide. Hearing Amanda's story was a strangely intense moment for me. I got nauseous. I felt hot and prickly and I began to sweat like I had just run a marathon.</div>
<br />
I was horrified.<br />
I was sad.<br />
I was angry.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was really confused by my visceral reaction to Amanda's death. Obviously, I didn't think it strange to feel sad, horrified or angry when someone so young is driven to suicide but I couldn't figure out why I reacted as strongly as I had or why I suddenly couldn't write a single new creative word: not one. I wondered why the death, however tragic, of a complete stranger would have that effect on me. Then in late January I found myself struggling to write a <a href="http://www.asimplejan.com/index.php/65-80s-songs/166-song-32#addcomment" target="_blank">short guest post</a> for my friend <a href="http://www.asimplejan.com/" target="_blank">Janet's website</a> and it all came into focus. I felt that way because, like Amanda, I had been bullied.</div>
<br />
Wikipedia's entry about bullying is pretty damn dry: <br />
<br />
Bullying is the use of force or coercion to abuse or intimidate<br />
others blah blah blahdeblahblah. Yawn. zzzzz<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
That doesn't (and couldn't) give a reader an accurate picture of the intensely personal and utterly horrific experience of being bullied. How was I bullied? Practically everyone excluded me. They mocked me. They spoke about me and over me as though I wasn't there. They kicked, punched, tripped and threw things at me and on a daily basis I was told I was ugly, stupid, worthless and unlikeable so many times and in so many ways that I quickly (and mercifully) lost count. Those that didn't overtly participate enabled by staying silent and it wasn't just kids who saw what was going on and did nothing - teachers did too. Not once did any of the adults at my school step up and say that what was being done right in front of them was wrong.<br />
<br />
By the time it ended, I hated myself more than these kids ever apparently hated me. Oh...and when I say "it ended" I don't mean these small town high school kids woke up one morning, looked at themselves in their mirrors and had life-altering epiphanies that resulted in a collective pledge never to bully again and a group hug. Nope. This ended when my parents actually sold their house (at a loss), packed us up and moved away.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'm here to blog, to mash my face on my keyboard on a daily basis as I write my first novel, and to hug my daughter a thousand time a day because one amazing friend stuck by me during my tour of hell despite the risk of being sucked into that abyss herself (Janet!) and because my parents were willing do do whatever needed to be done to protect me. Saying thank you to those three special people just doesn't cover it, you know?</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Even if you weren't bullied yourself, chances are that you do know someone who was although they probably won't talk about it as honestly as I just have. We are, all of us, potentially Amanda Todd. I was bullied. What if it was you? Your sister or brother? Your partner? Your friend? Or, even worse, your child?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
Bullying clearly killed Amanda but isolation and silence did too. Step up, people, take that chance and speak up: for her, for you, and for us all.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-1048444756601070042013-02-07T13:37:00.000-08:002013-02-12T14:51:06.506-08:00Herbie - The High School Years<div style="text-align: justify;">
I recently wrote a guest post for my friend Janet's authorial and very entertaining <a href="http://www.asimplejan.com/" target="_blank">website</a> where I talked about my decades-long obsession with "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrvRlI4hlBE" target="_blank">How Soon is Now</a>?" (the best song in the history of the world for those whippersnappers too young to remember the 80's).<br />
<br />
I know it is hard to believe (ahem!) but I spent my big haired, blue eye linered youth being the miserably awkward odd girl out instead of blithely skipping through a decade I look back on as the epitome of substanceless gloss and excess: Big Hair! Neon Clothes! Cocaine! Brat Pack Movies! Blahdeblahdeblah. As a result, I spent a lot of time listening to what would now be called goth and pre-goth music like "How Soon is Now?" If it was deep, dark and depressing, you can be sure it was in my record collection. </div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Soon after I wrote my guest post I got into my car and realized that my phone's playlist wasn't syncing to my radio properly. No matter what song I cued up, my car's display showed this:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHqjNckZOEupxT143Mn1Bv6hHVJHDNZBFPs01OZYgXcMwXFePo7isBseVhuzNivtlBk5egsHRsh2QB-r_5NUagHcmOlOkTkdUQRKse4hiXg7XMKav-LoEmnmm_2FaU2N_Jv9aj9qLpb4bw/s1600/photo+(2).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHqjNckZOEupxT143Mn1Bv6hHVJHDNZBFPs01OZYgXcMwXFePo7isBseVhuzNivtlBk5egsHRsh2QB-r_5NUagHcmOlOkTkdUQRKse4hiXg7XMKav-LoEmnmm_2FaU2N_Jv9aj9qLpb4bw/s400/photo+(2).JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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The resulting battle was one I was doomed to lose.</div>
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</div>
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Me: Car, I want to listen to Deadmau5.</div>
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</div>
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Car: Nope. How about the Smiths?</div>
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</div>
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Me: Well, you know I love them and this song in particular but after the day I just had I'm thinking something a bit more mindlessly upbeat might be to our advantage. Maybe Calvin Harris?</div>
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</div>
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Car: Nah. "How soon is Now?" is plenty upbeat. (begins playing song)</div>
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</div>
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Me: Umm...how about we compromise: Radio Head? Depeche Mode? Thomas Newman? Massive Attack? City and Colour?</div>
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</div>
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Car: "There's a club, if you'd like to go </div>
You could meet somebody who really loves you <br />
So you go, and you stand on your own <br />
And you leave on your own <br />
And you go home <br />
And you cry <br />
And you want to die <br />
When you say it's gonna happen now, <br />
When exactly do you mean?<br />
See I've already waited too long <br />
And all my hope is goooooone."<br />
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</div>
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Me: aaaaaugh.</div>
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I shouldn't be surprised that telling my car I've been there and that someday it will look back on this as a minor bump in the road is falling on a non-receptive speech recognition interface.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-55039869102731618372013-02-01T13:01:00.000-08:002013-02-07T14:44:02.573-08:00Shameless Plug<div style="text-align: justify;">
So you'll notice I took a not-so-brief powder (again) on the blogging. I wish I could say it was because I won the Lotto Max and I've been living off the grid in Thailand for the last few months but that would be a <em>slight </em>exaggeration. Instead, picture this idyllic scene: get up, realize you're still in Banjoville, groan, schlep to work, die a little inside, leave work, pick up child, rush through nightime routine, put child to bed, fall into couch coma, sleep 2 hours too little, wake to cat hacking up a hairball on your duvet, realize you didn't write the pages you had promised yourself the day before, rinse and repeat. Le sigh. </div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'll talk about my blogging absence in a future post but today I'm writing to plug my bestie since grade 4, Janet Cameron. The other day, Janet tweeted to ask if I would mind doing a short guest post for her website's countdown to the March publication of her book, <a href="http://www.asimplejan.com/index.php/cinnamon-toast-and-the-end-of-the-world" target="_blank">Cinnamon Toast and the End of the World</a>. Instead of the ohsoboring "buy my book" kind of tweets so many aspiring writers spam me with to flog the fruits of their creative labours, once a day she's blogged about a song that her protagonist, Stephen, might have listened to as he struggled with teenage ennui, life in a small town and an intimidating emotional bombshell. (For those of you too lazy to click on the link I've thoughtfully included above, the book takes place in 1987 so she's been blogging about 80's music.)</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'm a child of the 80's so when Janet came a'knockin' I was a bit overwhelmed by the choice. Should I pick something ironic? Should I critique the craptabulous? Should I bare my soul and reveal that (at times) I earnestly listened to the schlock, drek, and drivel that made up 95% of the 80's music scene? Tempting, but no. Instead, I chose a song that I've been obsessed with since 1986 because the music is insanely haunting and the words accurately described my seemingly endless adolescent experience of alienation and loneliness. Good times. </div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Here's the rub: the lazy amongst you will now have to bestir yourselves to click on yet another link below to read what I wrote. It's all part of the evil plan, people.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://www.asimplejan.com/index.php/65-80s-songs/166-song-32#addcomment">http://www.asimplejan.com/index.php/65-80s-songs/166-song-32#addcomment</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-7515210812944716902012-10-16T22:26:00.000-07:002012-11-14T12:18:42.353-08:00The Great EscapeEvery two nights, it is my turn to take the Boogaloo upstairs for bedtime. Sometimes, this consists of stories, songs, kisses and waves goodnight but others, it is "two more minutes, mommy" and a ninja-like break for the door only achieved after two year old has finally lost her struggle to stay awake indefinitely.<br />
<br />
Tonight was the latter. After I finally got her settled - eyes closed, muscles releaxed and her little stomach rising and falling evenly with her breathing - I briefly revelled in her sleepy sweetness and then tapped my inner ninja.<br />
<br />
Apparently, my inner ninja had fallen asleep long before my daughter did. <br />
<br />
Mistake Number 1: I forgot the jangly Bollywood style bangles I had on my wrist. <i>Chingachingching.</i> One eye opened, "Mommy, two more minutes. Put your head down on the pillow here." <br />
<br />
Time passed and my inner ninja began to stealthily snore.<br />
<br />
I cleverly slipped off my bracelets to reduce the noise when I made my next break for it. <br />
<br />
Now is when I would cue the Mission Impossible theme music if I could actually remember it.<br />
Which I can't. <br />
(Le sigh)<br />
<br />
However, in the meantime my inner ninja lapsed into a coma. <br />
<br />
Mistakes Number 3, 4, 5 and 6: duvet crinkling, knees bumping furniture, mattress bloody well boinging, cracking, thwanging and dwinging loud enough to shake the rafters as I lurch off the bed while banging the guard rail repeatedly. Amazingly enough, despite my inner ninja's unforgivable lapses, Brynn snored on as I galumphed my way to the suddenly squeaky door. <br />
<br />
Freeeeedom! Of course, now I'm sitting here feeling slightly bereft, wishing I could hear "two more minutes, mommy" again. Oh well, there's always Thursday.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-87831466370117002502012-10-16T16:12:00.001-07:002012-11-14T12:19:51.086-08:00I'm BaaaaaackNo, I'm not here to tell you I'm no longer "head injury mommy." <img height="183" id="il_fi" src="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTVcg4PqE30CKPP9zx9pl8YWxpgMAppRtcxRwcGZeE-zVHVPakJrdbjhBiWpQ" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 30px; padding-top: 8px;" width="276" /><br />
<br />
Instead, I'm excited to say I'm now only "head injury-ish mommy." Sadly, that distinction is exciting enough that I've decided it is time for me to push my ridonculous new limits to work on my writing again. <br />
<br />
As a result, anyone who happens to read this will be subjected to my random musings as well as a few "holy non sequitur, Batman!" moments as I forget what I'm writing about (or how to spell). It's all part of the <strike>recovery</strike> creative process so strap yourselves in...the bitch is back.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-14950709617544345192012-06-04T09:06:00.001-07:002012-06-04T09:06:12.333-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisWUaAkEhcF9WbDHZ1Y5l_CkBwWOugmyFNzNEzZpgPcq4xV2yb3aGLjVkAkd-QBKBviRAlfnhIRFMDsKe9n2pN2QhaZlF1Vn7WH6iFrZVdkvKqzbZa1cEgdjS6QKRrTCe0XtNMoPuLDSCZ/s1600/english_mini_400x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fba="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisWUaAkEhcF9WbDHZ1Y5l_CkBwWOugmyFNzNEzZpgPcq4xV2yb3aGLjVkAkd-QBKBviRAlfnhIRFMDsKe9n2pN2QhaZlF1Vn7WH6iFrZVdkvKqzbZa1cEgdjS6QKRrTCe0XtNMoPuLDSCZ/s320/english_mini_400x300.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-78098111361791294532011-09-15T15:37:00.000-07:002011-09-15T15:37:41.387-07:00Head Injury MommySorry i haven't been writing much...or much of anything...or really anything.<br />
<br />
I have two concussions or post concussion syndromes and it makes being on the computer really hard. And I have trouble spelling. And typing. And writing. And remembering words.<br />
<br />
What was I talking about? Oh yes...concussions and their effect on my memory, balance, energy, and just general brain related stuff.<br />
<br />
The baseballs on my noggin are gone...for the most part (bumps still remain 6 and 4 weeks after the fact) but the "fun" of concussions goes on. I promise I'll write more again as soon as I can.<br />
<br />
Please be patient while I work on getting better.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-83978226103117200722011-08-09T14:22:00.000-07:002011-08-09T14:22:40.679-07:00Rock-a-Bye-BabyBedtime used to be a pretty minimal affair.<br />
Supper. Bath time. Bottle. Brush Teeth. Stories. Upstairs. 3 Songs. Bed.<br />
<br />
The End. Tah Dah.<br />
<br />
Now? Bedtime is Epic.<br />
<br />
1. Supper usually served to a child who is either shoving food into her mouth double-fisted or attempting to swivel her head 180 degrees while screaming, "Nooooooooooooo." Apparently, soup is a finger food. Who knew? <br />
<br />
2. Bathtime is still pretty good. Provided you turn on the bubble machine and you have the water at <i>just</i> the right temperature. If it deviates more than a half degree from the ideal, bathtime can degenerate quickly into something that makes even the most seasoned parent wonder why the hell they're putting themselves through this.<br />
<br />
3. Milk is always good. Well...99.9% of the time it is good but mostly this is a moment of calm in an otherwise crazy night.<br />
<br />
4. Brushing teeth? It is a crap shoot. Some nights it is giggles and fun (Brynn's tooth brush plays "<a href="http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=so+yummy+yo+gabba+gabba&docid=1057155974696&mid=CC9F8F8D1B0359E34F19CC9F8F8D1B0359E34F19&FORM=VIRE2#">Party in my Tummy</a>" from Yo Gabba Gabba) and other nights I'm sure someone from DCFS is going to bust into the house to take Brynn away from us. Yes, she screams THAT loud.<br />
<br />
5. Stories. Sometimes we have the time and energy and sometimes...we don't. Usually that depends on how 4 went. <br />
<br />
6. Upstairs. Surprisingly, this is the one part - other than her bottle - that Brynn NEVER fights.<br />
<br />
7. 3 Songs...or 4 songs...or 5 songs...or... Scott always ducks out after 3 but I'm often left dealing with a kid who opens her big blues as wide as they'll go and who lisps out "I loo you" just before asking "mo song?" I usually end up singing myself out long before she runs out of cute but eventually I disengage, give her a kiss, tuck her in, and close the door while she still hopefully asks for "Mo Song." <br />
<br />
Then, I shuffle downstairs, fall onto the couch next to Scott and together we fall into a TV induced coma.<br />
<br />
How Romaaaaaantic. <br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-6217308304220415602011-08-04T11:58:00.000-07:002011-08-04T12:09:41.480-07:00The Queen of Lower West BanjovilleWe did it! We finally did it. We bought a house.<br />
<br />
And not just a house. <br />
<br />
It is THE house. A dream house. My dream house...eeeexcept for the fact that it isn't in Vancouver. Or Burnaby. Or even Port Moody.<br />
Nope. Officially, it is in Coquitlam (the next burb out past Port Moody) but it is close enough to Port Moody that I'm going to call it "Coquoody". I know that's stupid but it makes me feel marginally better about being out in the boonies.<br />
<br />
Instead of the <a href="http://youtu.be/NrP8mjsmy8U">King of Kensington</a>, I'm now the Queen of Lower West Banjoville. (yes, "Banjoville" is actually a legit term. Google it, I dare you. Or better yet, follow my handydandy link to the <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Banjoville">urban dictionary</a> for the definition.<br />
<br />
Feast your eyes on my new digs. <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi36s8zM7OHAQRuGFdLwHGOQjLZ7TVLfxyt6olacF36NQ4zDy_4wDdtTXciLpjRPCntT-dhkXSUU9kv69oJddGySg4vzt2R8OzaYTvf2yGqWTwMvtygWZ6H17_G9W6Z2KUKtKPtYxBoXLBR/s1600/will-jada-pinkett-smith-home-living-room.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi36s8zM7OHAQRuGFdLwHGOQjLZ7TVLfxyt6olacF36NQ4zDy_4wDdtTXciLpjRPCntT-dhkXSUU9kv69oJddGySg4vzt2R8OzaYTvf2yGqWTwMvtygWZ6H17_G9W6Z2KUKtKPtYxBoXLBR/s320/will-jada-pinkett-smith-home-living-room.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Wait a minute...this isn't MY house. This is a picture of Will Smith's living room from Architectural Digest. What a dump! He can now only dream of owning my new pad. Bwahahahahahaa<br />
Let us all now take a moment to feel sorry for the Fresh Prince of somewhere other than Lower West Banjoville.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-39511957765761276282011-08-02T13:14:00.000-07:002011-08-02T13:14:46.332-07:00The Louboutin Mommy or A Paperbag Princess?I am most definitely NOT a Louboutin mommy. (as much as I would dearly love to be)<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG88p361f1EXZ5EJYbpXT1GLFcQnu42igfeC3BOc9zQWx1ylD9g6nOa0VzpTltaUTWgYQceOMuYHuUOddt55N8zS7SKwAjcwu56DR6H5xknqowcNO6Yogj4E5LA1FGszzA2QZWAymoWItM/s1600/spl122205_006wtmk_preview.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG88p361f1EXZ5EJYbpXT1GLFcQnu42igfeC3BOc9zQWx1ylD9g6nOa0VzpTltaUTWgYQceOMuYHuUOddt55N8zS7SKwAjcwu56DR6H5xknqowcNO6Yogj4E5LA1FGszzA2QZWAymoWItM/s320/spl122205_006wtmk_preview.jpg" width="225" /></a><i>I</i> do not drive up to my daycare to drop off my little bundle of joy in my Mercedes SUV.<br />
<br />
<i>I</i> do not slide off my Gucci sunglasses, tossing them carelessly on the passenger seat so I can see what I'm doing.<br />
<br />
<i>I</i> do not unbuckled a child named "Buffy/Oprah/Ashleigh Devereaux the third" and sashay her into daycare with my flashy five inch Louboutins wearing a delightfully swingy Halston dress.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i> </i><br />
<br />
<i>I</i> do not.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXLLUBDNn-QdvwuFqY2qiaUKa3-brMk2XN8Bgp9zo6DYZxNNmvV1_840Y_zxQLabmGhrR1ty5uNn5RWCRAyvqaTHXSgQ3Yd9ZyPT9dljPbPm6rFp4jxN1-pytokPY7cntp7J5NLVRtvzDN/s1600/Paper_Bag_Princess_by_iduck.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXLLUBDNn-QdvwuFqY2qiaUKa3-brMk2XN8Bgp9zo6DYZxNNmvV1_840Y_zxQLabmGhrR1ty5uNn5RWCRAyvqaTHXSgQ3Yd9ZyPT9dljPbPm6rFp4jxN1-pytokPY7cntp7J5NLVRtvzDN/s200/Paper_Bag_Princess_by_iduck.jpg" width="200" /></a><br />
Nope. <br />
<br />
<i>This</i> mommy drives up in her 2003 Mazda wearing pants I hope don't give me too much of a muffin top, topped by an oh so delightful tshirt procured from Costco. When I sashay, it is more of a schlep since my Pumas have holes in both soles. <br />
<br />
Ah yes, I know. Ooh la la! Je suis superbe, n'est pas?<br />
<br />
Oh, and just in case you were wondering...yes, this post was inspired by a Louboutin mommy I saw at my daycare this morning. <br />
<br />
Wadda bitch!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-6698936057270830942011-07-25T13:50:00.000-07:002011-07-25T13:52:32.482-07:00The New Daycare...Sorta/KindaWell our fabulous, marvelous daycare provider Maria is now enjoying herself in idyllic Greece and we're back from vacation. You know what that means...<br />
<br />
No, it doesn't mean I'm going into baklava withdrawals (although I am), it means Brynn has started at her new daycare.<br />
<br />
Kind of.<br />
<br />
Sort of.<br />
<br />
What she <i>actually </i>has done is started at "A" new daycare. A pronounced like the letter of the alphabet, not the "aaaaah" we garble out for the dentist. A new daycare. Yup. The saga continues.<br />
<br />
As you know, we got a highly coveted spot in a brand new daycare. (cue angels singing)<br />
<br />
Then, we gave our notice and suffered through Maria's concerted campaign of guilt. (cue the violins)<br />
<br />
Then, we got a call from our new daycare. They weren't going to be ready on June 1st as planned. (cue horror movie soundtrack)<br />
<br />
Then, we talked to Maria (aka grovelled) and she agreed to continue caring for Brynn until June 15. (cue relieved angels)<br />
<br />
Then, our daycare called back and said no, they were going to be ready on time. (cue slightly pissed off angels singing through clenched teeth)<br />
<br />
Then, our daycare calls back and says, nope, they were right when they called us the first time...they aren't going to be ready for June 1st after all. (cue some LOUD Nine Inch Nails - Mom, this is a band. You would hate them so don't bother asking to hear some of their music.)<br />
<br />
Then, we beg and cry and Maria agrees to take care of Brynn until July 1st. (cue angels who are now too pissed off to sing and now can only manage a smile that looks more like a snarl)<br />
<br />
Then, we get a call letting us know that our daycare won't be ready for July 1st, or even July 20th when we return from vacation and inquiring whether we have other options or if we would like to drive our daughter to Richmond every day to use their facility there. Until. Further. Notice. (OK. Cue every fucking angry/ugly thing you can imagine here. Kind of like the product of a Marilyn Manson meets Steve Buscemi having a baby with Freddy Kruger staring sullenly at you as though planning your imminent demise. Yup. That's how THAT whole phone call felt.)<br />
<br />
aaaand so now every day I ask the universe "are you kiiiiiiding me?" as I load my sweet little baby into the car to schlep back and forth to Richmond. Zippedy fricking do dah day.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-7940593894967041652011-06-15T15:22:00.000-07:002011-06-15T15:22:00.655-07:00GOGOGOGOGO!Just a quick note 'cause I'm about to make my escape from downtown Vancouver (AKA: Crazytown Central)...<br />
<br />
GoCanucksGo!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik9MwNqWjzlPVKWWCcXnoPRwuao1vNFVZDMn3XumQz6w3C_zEWDgiEJxfBAC6hM_2x27WFYBxbjRxbzqZLczcl7icF9VVFojpfcUthajfIFHRTyh0fK3XkvVWTg5nyVJJNj7x36n_wt_8i/s1600/index.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik9MwNqWjzlPVKWWCcXnoPRwuao1vNFVZDMn3XumQz6w3C_zEWDgiEJxfBAC6hM_2x27WFYBxbjRxbzqZLczcl7icF9VVFojpfcUthajfIFHRTyh0fK3XkvVWTg5nyVJJNj7x36n_wt_8i/s1600/index.jpg" t8="true" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-44122800646174497492011-06-14T15:17:00.000-07:002011-06-14T15:18:36.086-07:00Oh Puh-frickin-leeeeez!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFIDgEkUWAEv8BmypQtzteqEacaXNu9Vw5idqXv2qiW9uN5vxWWB_sUFBYCkEFxmva1lZxDugx6CatR2RpjSxggX6RJoAhafkFhtMVIULeW_7VSpfzSm5AzIjDGbYCmBhoBgohea6lraWD/s1600/untitled.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFIDgEkUWAEv8BmypQtzteqEacaXNu9Vw5idqXv2qiW9uN5vxWWB_sUFBYCkEFxmva1lZxDugx6CatR2RpjSxggX6RJoAhafkFhtMVIULeW_7VSpfzSm5AzIjDGbYCmBhoBgohea6lraWD/s320/untitled.bmp" t8="true" width="320" /></a></div><br />
So Louis Vuitton is hawking ridiculously expensive bags (over ten thousand bucks by my guess) by sending Angie to Cambodia.<br />
<br />
First of all I have to say that's offensive. People in Cambodia could live on that much money for a ridiculous amount of time and they sent her there to take pretty pictures to flog their ridiculously overpriced crap to the rich and bored of the world? Meh<br />
<br />
Second: they are making much of the fact that Angie is supposedly au natuale. No, not naked (obviously!), but supposedly not wearing any makeup.<br />
<em>ANY.</em> <br />
Wow. Genetics sure are on her side because she apparently has a natural smokey eye, unblemished and matte skin (in an extremely warm and humid country, no less!), and a highlighted lower lip. Guess I crawled out of the shallow end of the gene pool because I NEED MAKEUP TO LOOK LIKE THAT JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER HUMAN BEING IN CREATION.<br />
<br />
Dear Ange:<br />
<br />
You don't look like this in real life so don't let those hucksters at LV say you do.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
<br />
Everyone<br />
<br />
pah!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-28713563615228670722011-06-09T12:08:00.000-07:002011-06-09T12:08:23.901-07:00No Really, I've had More than EnoughI'm sitting at my desk at work trying not to fall asleep.<br />
I've been the only lawyer here for almost the last 3 weeks: I've submitted any number of votes, intervention letters, letters of comment, interrogatories, final arguments, an epic human rights submission, and steered us through a computer upgrade and migration solo.<br />
<br />
And I'm done. Done like dinner. Done like a roast stuck in the oven at breakfast and left to broil until bedtime. Well done but not done well.<br />
<br />
My mom and dad are on their way down for a visit and househunting trek. I'm looking forward to seeing them but I feel bad because my house looks like a bomb went off because until last night my last three weeks have consisted of: I get up, get ready, go to work, get home, take care of Brynn, tuck her in and start working until I pass out from exhaustion. Then, rince and repeat.<br />
<br />
I need a vaaaaaacaaaation.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-48728383161992626462011-05-24T12:48:00.000-07:002011-05-24T13:25:10.336-07:00The Cold, Hard Truth: My Realty CheckHousing Market (HM): 7 versus Sad Little Ole Me: 0<br />
<br />
I love Vancouver. I love living here. I love that I can easily get to the water, the wilderness, the city and the mountains. Other than the rain (look at my blog background...rainy mountains. That isn't simply because it's a pretty picture, folks), I love this place. <br />
<br />
What I don't like is that in order to get a bungalow - A BUNGALOW - within Vancouver city limits with a half decent basement suite for my parents, I'm looking at $900,000 at the very least. Don't even get me started on how much I'd need to get a place on the west side because I just don't want to type that many zeros...my limit is five.<br />
<br />
1. I wanted to look at a house on Wall Street. They just accepted an offer. HM 1 : Me 0<br />
2. I wanted to look at a house on East Georgia. Whoops, they also just accepted an offer. HM 2 : Me 0<br />
3. I wanted to look at another house on Wall Street. Guess what? They accepted an offer. HM 3 : Me 0<br />
4. I asked to look at a house in Burnaby on Georgia. Same frickin' deal. HM 4 : Me 0<br />
5. I begged to look at a house on 18th. No problem to look but it was awful. HM 5 : Me 0<br />
6. I cried to look at a place on Williams. Oh, guess what? They accepted an offer before even putting it up on MLS. WTF?? HM 6 : Me 0 <br />
7. I looked at another bungalow in Burnaby. We put in a bid - $22,000 over asking. And lost. Some schmuck bid $77,000 over asking with no conditions. Not even a bloody home inspection!!! HM 7 : Me 0 <br />
<br />
Nooooooo!<br />
<br />
This past weekend, I tentatively formed a thought that I might go look at a place at the top of our budget. Until our real estate agent told us that they were expecting multiple offers.<br />
<br />
OK Housing Market. How's about I bid a Million Fricking Bucks and throw in my 2 cats for good measure? No? You want my left kidney too? At this point, I'd almost consider that a good offer but rest assured, I will not allow a medical inspection before signing on the dotted line.<br />
<br />
PS: I couldn't find a picture that was completely on point...strangely, Google is not littered with images of people punching each other and climbing over dead grannies and bleeding kittens to sign real estate contracts. So this lovely picture will have to do. Just imagine that daddy's nails are dirty because he just buried the last of the bodies of the other bidders in the back garden. Sadly, he won't get a chance to clean them anytime soon because as soon as their little sweetheart goes to bed, mommy locks herself in the house's only bathroom while she scrubs and scrubs, trying to get the blood off her hands while crying softly so as to not wake their sweet little child.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1OjBxA7dSkFQKyPYtKwE9t-0hu6d3mNn1cVljcfTcld6Q-fGfPtxdJISNQzTkCgmkq8Yq3ovWeBz3sDoJqDEyJOIYRmsp_p7FgdgCDlARFSVUuj_9KUkMULdsyfLYN8HwFNy-kIFQzRQ2/s1600/happy+family+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1OjBxA7dSkFQKyPYtKwE9t-0hu6d3mNn1cVljcfTcld6Q-fGfPtxdJISNQzTkCgmkq8Yq3ovWeBz3sDoJqDEyJOIYRmsp_p7FgdgCDlARFSVUuj_9KUkMULdsyfLYN8HwFNy-kIFQzRQ2/s320/happy+family+1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8444469975402899062.post-286219862965890892011-05-11T15:46:00.000-07:002011-05-13T10:28:37.176-07:00The Last Post...No, not <i>my</i> last post. This is about another blogger's last post.<br />
<br />
His name was Derek. He was a Vancouverite with a wicked sense of humour. He loved music, Diet Cherry Coke, and cheese in a can...apparently called Easy Cheese.<br />
<br />
He had a wife. He had 2 daughters. And...he had cancer.<br />
<br />
Derek is gone now. He died the other day and the link I'm putting below will direct you to what he asked be posted after he passed away. Although I didn't know him...I only knew him through his blogging voice...I am able to say with complete confidence that the world is now a poorer place.<br />
<br />
Even if you don't read anything else in his blog, I highly recommend reading this. I read it and I cried. Lots. If his Last Post motivates you to read more, then that's all the better because he was intelligent and funny and inspiring.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.penmachine.com/">The Last Post</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11014865843627833111noreply@blogger.com0