Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Gym? Who The Hell is He?

I'm trying to lose weight.
Try-ing. sigh
I weigh less now than when I got pregnant buuuuut I set a goal for myself and I'm stalled about 10 pounds above that magic number. Sadly, every time I get myself motivated - eating right, going to the gym, feeling good - I get sick. I get the flu, I get food poisoning, I catch a cold, I get lazy. I know that "lazy" doesn't technically count as sick but it is rather addictive and given our society's tendency to label addictions as illnesses, I think it might slide in as an illness one of these days.

Maybe one of these days, we'll all be watching Dr. Drew's "Sluggishness Rehab" or "Celebrity Goof-Off Club." I know I'd tune in. Sitting on my couch. Wearing my fat pants, eating a bag of chips with a diet coke in hand and calling over Brynn to pick the crumbs off my shirt because I'M TOO LAZY TO DO IT MYSELF.

I went to the gym on Monday. I went to the gym yesterday. I'm sitting here right now trying to talk myself into going again today but it is soooo hard. I just keep coming up with excuses.
1. I'm tired.
2. I'm tired.
3. I'm tired.
Then, I enter my workout results into my online fitness diary and it tells me I should take today off. Is this a conspiracy? I'm doing my best to look good and the universe keeps throwing Mars Bars and Licorice Goodies at me. I'm trying to dodge pizza slices and chocolate Rosebuds and my workout program says "take it easy today." Oh and guess what? I just got a damn email from Dominos Pizza. "Dear Leigha: we know you're overdue for some grease. Here's something to make it just that much harder to say no when you get that craving for pizza tonight." AAAAAUGH

I can't take it anymore. I'm heading to the gym to work off some of my pizza-induced stress.


  1. Hey! Hope you don't mind a random follower :) I just stumbled upon your blog looking for sarcastic, witty images to include in my blog...I started reading and laughed out loud more than once...Good luck with the gym thing...I, myself, will definitely do the pizza thing instead :) (I have NO work out will power)

  2. It's funny that I read this as I was washing down my Doritos with a Diet Coke. And in case your curious - I would trade my left eye for a reese's peanut butter cup right now.

  3. Welcome Random Follower aka KatieSue! I'm glad I made you laugh and I'm really glad you signed up. Makes me feel all popular and such. :) I'm looking forward to checking out your blog 'cause your title rocks! I smell a Wayne's World reference in there.

    Katie McAwesomeCousin: I'd give your left eye for a reece's peanut butter cup right now too. ;)

  4. You'll have to go to the very 1st post to see it...lucky for you...there's only like 6 posts though :) I just started this whole blogging thing...Look forward to you stopping by! :)