The Hospital Bag

Apparently (according to the pregnant woman's bible called "What to Expect When You're Expecting") it is time to pack my hospital bag "just in case". A hospital bag has all those things the hospital can't or won't bring in to ensure the comfort of its patients...you know, like something to wear that doesn't show off your butt crack or a toothbrush that won't scrape the enamel off your teeth.

My list so far:

1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer poseable action figures (hours of fun there, folks!)

2. Glow in the dark "I love Donny Osmond" t-shirt

3. A portable Ipod dock that will constantly blare music by Korn, Disturbed, Linkin Park, Nine Inch Nails and the Robot Chicken song punctuated by Jingle Cats classics. (You haven't lived 'til you've heard "Hava Nagila" belted out by a thousand cats)

4. 14 pillows decorated with pictures of kittens from I Can Has Cheezburger

5. A set of Star Wars bedsheets so Bug can be born in style

6. A case of Chef Boyardee Ravioli to share with guests

7. A band saw 'cause you never know when you're gonna need one.

Other than these necessities, I'm unsure what I need to pack.

Oh well, I'm sure it will come to me eventually...like when I'm about to push and I suddenly realize I really do need that lash plumping mascara or that my scrubs are making my butt look big no matter what Scott told me earlier.