Saturday, September 26, 2009

Taxi Cab Confessions

On Friday, I got up earlier than usual to make sure I would be early to the 2 procedural conferences on my schedule that morning. You would think that might translate into an easy and leisurely trip into work but no. Apparently, I'm getting slower the farther along in this pregnancy I go and on top of that the transit angels just weren't on my side that morning. After watching a couple of buses blow by my stop without even slowing down (full of annoyingly keen students on their way to UBC, I'm guessing) I gave up and called a cab.

Then I thanked the gods (prematurely, as it happens) that my cab came in relatively short order because by that point I was teetering on the cusp of irreversible lateness. I hopped in and the ride from hell began...

1. The cabbie was very fond of every form of offensive joke known to man (oh joy!)

2. The cabbie, after apparently exhausting his store of "jokes", decided it was time to enlighten me about the goings on in his life last Saturday night...which apparently included being charged with a well-deserved DUI. He then went on to describe how he was driving me to my hearing without actually having his driver's licence because it was seized.

3. Then, he apparently felt it was important for me to know that this was his second DUI and that he had also had a major brain surgery recently that had really played havoc on his personality and "stuff". (I'm guessing the "stuff"part includes his ability to keep facts probably not intended for public consumption to himself)

4. During the course of this ride, the cabbie's driving deteriorated from "marginally ok" to "Holy shit, I'm gonna die!" so that when I got out of the cab, I was shaking and sweating from the effort it took to keep from crying the whole way across the Cambie Street Bridge.

Then, as I paid him, he had the nerve to look pissed when I only tipped him the difference between what I actually owed and the next round dollar up.

Needless to say, I took public transit home and felt damn lucky to be doing so. No stress, no tears, and most importantly, no questionable taxi cab confessions. Ahhh, pure bliss.

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