Would Someone Take this %^#&ing Cork Back?

I'm ready.

I'm soooo ready.

I've been ready now for quite awhile and no, by that I DON'T mean I've got my nursery all pristinely painted and staged like a magazine shoot - I mean I'm ready to scream at the top of my lungs at every passerby, "I'M READY FOR THIS CHILD TO BE BORN. DO SOMETHING DAMMIT!"

Scott and I are still in the middle of organizing our nursery but there's nothing that can't wait until after the baby makes her first appearance and to be quite honest, I'm more than happy to do all that crap later...more than happy - YOU HEAR THAT KIDDO? WE ARE MORE THAN HAPPY SO GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR ALREADY! I think poor Scott is almost as anxious as I am for this to be over because he's so worried about how I'm doing that he can't get any sleep. When I roll over, he wakes up. When I wheeze, sneeze, snort, or snore he wakes up. When I take 10 minutes to lever myself out of bed each of the 16 times a night I get up to go pee he wakes up. No matter how careful I am or how quiet I am, anything I do besides sleeping quietly wakes him up.

Both of us are supposed to be enjoying our last peaceful nights of sleep for the next few years right now but instead we both seem to be doomed to stare at the ceiling formulating grocery lists in the dark. Well...to be honest I sometimes formulate grocery lists and the rest of the time I think about shoes and what movies are in the theatres or new on Bluray. What a wild child I am these days, hey?