33 Weeks - 49 Days To Go and Counting

Ah...Monday. It used to be a day I dreaded. I was one of those people who always had a serious case of the blahs for at least half of Sunday (because I was anticipating Monday's arrival) and the entire 24 hours of the day itself. I resented Mondays because Mondays meant I was losing my freedom and returning to the workday grind. No sleeping in. No leisurely strolls or friendly brunches. Nothing but workworkwork.

Why now do I feel pretty damn good when I come to work on Mondays? I don't wake up with a scowl. I don't growl at my cats or kick little old people on the bus just for the savage joy of watching them stumble (well...I never actually kicked the old people, but there were days when I seriously considered it because some of the Geritol Gang are just rude. And pushy. And annoying). These days I get up on Mondays and it is just another day. I head to work...plod through my day...and I don't feel angry about it. PROGRESS! (cue singing birds, rainbows and frolicking kittens)

How did this happen to me? I'll tell you how...I'm pregnant so our weekends aren't filled with party invitations followed by hazy booze-fueled bouts of silliness followed by a late morning wake up call and a trip to our favourite brunch place followed by a lazy family nap. Noooo. Our weekends are hectic, expensive, and depressingly utilitarian for the most part.
Laundry? Check.
Dishes? Check.
Groceries? Check.
Paint? Ummm...soon?
Crib, stroller, car seat, glider chair, baby clothes, diapers, changing table, diaper cream, baby tub, dresser, SNOT SUCKER, etc etc etc? ... ... ... ... (followed by the sound of a door slamming as Leigha and Scott run from the room to hide their shame)

Yeah, that pretty much describes our weekends in a nutshell. We're hitting the panic stations just in case our child fails to take after her perpetually late parents and actually makes her debut early. I admit, there is little chance of this but we're determined to be prepared. Are we done yet? Are we even close to being done? Not a friggin' chance. There are a million and one things left we still need to do, buy, move, paint, pack, donate, organize, clean, etc. before we can sit down and start feeling even remotely ready for what is to come.

In other words...we don't look at all like these two jerks I found while surfing the web looking for my weekly Baby Centre update. I noticed the picture on the 33 week intro page is of this calm looking couple who are obviously happily anticipating the arrival of their baby without a care in the world. Tra la la-de-dah. Isn't life just sooo wonderful for these two smug SOB's? Since Scott and I are NOT looking anything like these two, I feel like pulling out the handy dandy sniper rifle, hunting these two down and using them for target practice just because they've made me feel so inadequate. Justifiable double homicide, people, and I should know...I'm a lawyer.

This seems to be more in line with how things are in the Worth/Craig household right now and I'm apparently not the only one feeling the heat. Scott seems to be on his way to a full blown meltdown too.

Fun Fun Fun.

So before I degenerate into a beebling idiot, here's the Baby Center update and the 3d update and blurb can be found by clicking here.

Holy Crap. Reality Hits the Fan! (Part 19)

Tomorrow I'll be officially in my eighth month.

I'll be in my 8th month and already people are always saying stuff like: "oh you must have everything ready for baby now, hey?" or "you must be close to finished her nursery now, right?

umm...

well...

(blush)

Oh who the hell do I think I'm fooling? I suck, ok? I suck! I suck!
EYEEEEEE SUUUUUUCK! *shamed sob*

My nursery-to-be still looks like a bomb loaded with loose paper went off in it (although the paper fallout is far less than it used to be...)

Sadly, if I went into labour right now, Bug would have nowhere to sleep, nothing to wear actually purchased by her parents in anticipation of her impending birth, and her father would be forced to run out to an all night pharmacy to stock up on the diapers, bum wipes and diaper cream (etc, etc, etc) just so she wouldn't be left lying naked on the corner while both her parents try to figure out how to install the damn car seat we just bought yesterday. (for the edification of the expectant grandparents: behold! Here is the overly expensive safety device we splashed out for yesterday that will protect your granddaughter. Nice colour, hey?)

I guess I could always distract Bug from the harsh reality that her mother is a disorganized loser by dangling the sales slip showing that I did actually buy a crib in front of her although I'm not sure how comforting she would find that once she actually needed somewhere to sleep.

Believe me, I know that things gotta change but just in case I needed an extra kick in the pants, tonight the gods arranged for one but good. Scott and I went for a nice leisurely walk earlier this evening and a couple of blocks before we made it home, I was doubled over with Braxton Hicks and pelvic pain. I knew it was nothing...but it made me think.

This. Kid. Could. Come. At. ANY. Time.

Gottacleanupthenurseryrightfrickennowdammit!

No time to write...feeling the need to organize things. And paint things. And buy things. And...

Prenatal Lessons from Classical Roman Poets

Scott and I attended our first prenatal class last night. Each Thursday for 5 weeks straight we're heading to St. Paul's for a 2 hour birthing primer. I wish I could say it was going to teach me how to survive this process intact, but given my current physical state I'd say that train has already left the station.

I had the impression that we were going to be sitting on the floor practicing breathing or watching a graphic birthing video but overall it was pretty damn benign. We learned about the various phases of labour and a few natural pain management/relaxation techniques, ate some chocolate puffed cereal squares, got to know our classmates a bit, and that was about it.

My worst moment came when I realized how incredibly tight a space the pelvis is. The nurse took an unrealistically small doll and a skeleton's pelvis to illustrate how the baby travels from the uterus to the outside world and boy, was it a tight fit. I almost asked for my epidural right then and there.

So where was the drama? The images of panting women and the blood, sweat and screaming? Just between you and me, I bet that last night there were any number of women labouring away up on the third floor in the maternity ward cursing the prenatal class they attended just weeks ago because that smiling, perky little nurse teaching it sold them a bill of goods about the joys and rewards of natural child birth without showing them the grim and gory reality. Pfft! Suckers.

Can you tell I'm suspicious of this whole process?

Personally, I think Virgil was a bit off in the Aeneid warning us all about Greeks bearing gifts. My advice? Beware of nurses advocating natural childbirth who ply you with chocolaty snacks.

The Financial Hemorrhage has Begun...

On Friday I came to my most shocking realization yet: we've got about 10 weeks (give or take) to get our house and our lives in order before Bug comes and that, my friends, just isn't very damn long!

I know it sounds like I've spent more than half this pregnancy being surprised by the obvious, but for some reason I just can't help it. Every single time I think about certain things I'm struck by how scary and wonderful having a baby is, how unprepared I am and how incredibly excited and twisted up I am inside. You know, my typical self, but the bonus pack version NOW WITH 50% MORE CRAZY!

So with this realization came a renewed push to "take care of business" - aka buy the basics. Scott and I have been putting this off for quite some time. At first, we justified it by saying we wanted to wait until after a certain point to make sure that everything was going to be ok. Then, just when we thought we were in the clear, things got a little NOT ok so we used that to justify further procrastination. Mind you, we knew at the time that it was poor tactical thinking but it sure helped our sanity to wait until things settled down before dipping our toes into the baby shopping pool.

The problem is that now we're about 10 weeks away from D-day (Delivery Day) and Scott and I have bought exactly squat for Bug besides a cute little cloth doll (see pic in my Aug 1st post here). I imagine just about everyone reading this is thinking we're nuts but fear not, we've now fully immersed ourselves in the very scary (and ridiculously expensive) world of baby crap. Car seats, strollers, furniture, clothing, and...accessories? We need to accessorize our child? We need accessories to have a child? To care for a child? To keep ourselves from looking like idiots while fumbling around trying to figure out what the hell we're doing with our child?

Apparently so.

And what a bloody racket baby stores are running! They are like the bambino mafioso.

You need a stroller? Have we got the one for you...however, you'll probably have to sell your firstborn in order to afford it...

Oh you like that convertible crib? Here's the form to take out a second mortgage on your home...

No, this doesn't come with ANY of the features we have on display. Those will cost you an arm and a leg but we do have a special going on this week...you get to choose: right or left...

I swear, if I win the lotto, I'm going to set up a baby store. It is quite literally a license to print money and maybe THEN I could afford some of the junk we saw on sale this weekend. Gah!

Some good news? Well, we bought the cutest crib bedding AND I'm pretty sure we found her a crib we like with a price tag that didn't send us both running for the TUMS. Oh happy day!

28 Weeks

So today marks yet another major baby milestone. Apparently, 24 weeks is the first point at which the medical community considers a baby to be viable (although I've read about younger children having survived in VERY rare cases) and 28 weeks is where a child's chance of survival jumps almost to its highest because their little lungs are in better working order. Of course, a baby born at this point would require a long stay at the hospital and a lot of medical help, but it represents yet another developmental stage that allow Scott and I to breathe a little easier and focus more on our excitement (and anxiety) about Bug's impending arrival.

The Baby Center update can be found here and the 3D rotatable pic and info is available via this link. This week's blurb and ridiculously disturbing pic from the Visible Embryo can be found here.

I'm going in on Wednesday of this week for another ultrasound so hopefully I'll have another fantastic pic of Buggero to post soon although (as I've said before) it won't be a fancy-schmancy 3d one like the one I found on Google images for this post. I actually don't think we're going to do the 3d ultrasound since this poor kid has been ultrasounded within an inch of her life since June.

Our update: Scott and I finally pulled the trigger yesterday and bought a sectional couch for our living room, a pull-out couch for our new den/guestroom and a leather swivel/recliner for our new upstairs living space too. It was a depressingly expensive day and all we walked out of the store carrying was a furniture care kit because our new couches won't come until October 17th and the chair won't arrive until December 3rd. Somehow, walking out with a little cardboard box after spending thousands of dollars just didn't seem right, you know?

The bonus? I don't have to spend time I need to get the nursery ready shopping for our other furniture anymore.

The drawback? I now have no excuse to drag my butt any more when it comes to clearing out the mess I've made in the den (aka nursery). Sigh...

Apparently it's time for week 24's update?!?

Holy bloody crap! I mean, I know I'm a couple of days early posting my 24 week update (2 whole days!) but even taking into account the extra time, it just seems absolutely unreal that I'm this far along already. eek!

Anyway, 24 weeks have just flown by and quite frankly, Scott and I aren't prepared at all, unless you consider buying your unborn progeny a toy preparation of some sort. Behold, a picture of the one and only thing we've bought to prepare for our child's impending birth: a cloth doll!

Now I know this isn't an essential like a car seat or a crib but it is the very first thing we've bought for our little Bug so I thought I would post a pic to show we're not in denial or anything. Yes, we realize we have a baby on the way and yes, we know we need to buy the essentials too so please don't report us to Child and Family Services. We will buy all those important things too...eventually.

Put.
Down.
That.
Phone.

The Baby Center update this week focuses mainly on what's going down with the mom but there are a few interesting tidbits here. Also, the 3d rotatable pic and blurb can be found here. The Visible Embryo has an update this week although the picture they use is rather disturbing...the baby's eyes make it look possessed by the devil. Vewy, Vewy Scawy but if you're feeling brave it can be found here.